Pacifier 101

With roughly 10 years of one of my kids having a pacifier, I have truly learned the pros and cons of pacifier use for babies! Here is my guidance on pacifiers so you can learn from my mistakes and my education as a certified sleep consultant and newborn care specialist.

Pacifiers are an excellent tool in your toolbox when it comes to soothing a newborn or when it comes to a baby having a comfort item (highly recommended)! But remember, it’s just 1 option of many such as a swaddle, shush and sway, or baby wearing. It’s not the only thing you should be using as a parent to soothe a crying baby.

Pacifiers are just one of many tools to soothe a fussy newborn.

One myth is that giving your baby a pacifier will lead to nipple confusion for breast-feeding babies. Babies are smarter than we think and they can easily tell the difference between a cool, rubber nipple that provides no nutrients and a warm, soft mother’s nipple that provides breast milk.

Pacifiers also help reduce the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and help build oral skills that will be used for eating or drinking down the road.

For Newborns: They are born with a natural instinct to suck. A pacifier can provide a source for that non-nutritive suck reflex and soothe fussing that comes along with the 4th trimester. A parent can feel confident giving her newborn a pacifier in the hospital, but if they want to err on the side of caution waiting to introduce a pacifier between 3-4 weeks is a good time frame after feedings and a breast latch has been well established.

Remember to feed your newborn on demand! Babies of all ages should be fed appropriately before offering a pacifier! This is very important. If it has been more than 2 hours or if your baby is displaying hunger signs such as smacking lips, sucking fingers, or turning toward or nuzzling into a parent's chest, be sure to feed them. Crying is a late hunger indicator, so if your baby is crying and it's time for a feeding, then this is not a time to soothe your baby with a pacifier.

Around the 5pm "witching hour" is a perfect time to use the pacifier. Your baby has been fed, they've napped, but it's still very common for them to be fussy during this time of day. This is a great time to put wear your baby and soothe them with a pacifier.

After the newborn stage...most babies stop needing it around 5 months when they learn to sleep independently and cannot replace it themselves. However, if they continue to use it (which is totally fine) keep reading for a roadmap.

When to use it: Once a baby reaches the stage when they are napping or sleeping in their crib or bassinet on a regular schedule with wake times in between, pacifiers should be used in the crib (without a stuffed animal attachment) and left in the crib when you get the baby up. If you're planning a car or contact nap, then it's ok to take the pacifier along, but try to limit it to only when they are sleeping and do not take it everywhere you go. It should be used as a sleep soothing tool and therefore left in the space where they sleep.

Limit pacifier use for sleep only and keep it in the crib.

How to use it: Which leads me to the next point, it's ok for a pacifier to be used to help a baby fall asleep, but not to keep them asleep. Make sure not to replace the pacifier each time it falls out. This will allow your baby to learn to move through their sleep cycles without this sleep association or sleep crutch and also continue to learn to self soothe. Eventually as your baby rolls and moves around their crib, they may learn to put it back in their mouth themselves (around 9 months) which is fine. However YOU should not put the pacifier in their mouth during the middle of a nap or nighttime sleep...do not get into a replace the paci game. While they are in their crib awake, it can be a good idea to put the pacifier in their hand and guide it to their mouth teaching them to put it in their mouth independently.

Which one: The best pacifier to start with is one

that is all 1 piece such as the Avent soothie. Other great brands are Mam and Itzy Ritzy. With any pacifier you buy, make sure you can sterilize it in high heat and it's BPA free.

When to stop pacifier use: Age 3 is the best age for ditching the pacifier or when you as a parent decide it's time to stop pacifier use. A number of factors can lead to this decision such as a new sibling, bed transition, too much attachment to the pacifier, etc.  It's still recommended that children nap up until age 3 and napping often stops when pacifiers are taken away so they are often tied together around this age. 

How to stop: The Paci Fairy makes a visit during the night! Read this book a couple times before the big night and build up the excitement and pride that comes with this big kid step. Always do this at night since naps can be disrupted or off schedule. Choose a prize that is a big reward for your child, whether that's a big toy, an exciting outing to a trampoline park, or a date with mom or dad. Pick something that will fill their bucket and is worth the huge task of giving up a loved comfort item. Then gather EVERY. SINGLE. PACIFIER. around the house. Don't miss a single one like I did one time when it was under the rocker and then had to make up some crazy story about why it was there! Put them in their bed or crib that night and during the middle of the night gather them up, throw them AWAY. AWAY as in a black trash bag in the outdoor trash can where they can’t be found later! Then leave their prize in their room. When your child wakes in the morning, pacifiers will be gone and a prize will be there! I also used to leave behind a little fairy dust, a note, and little treat for immediate reward as well. Do this in a way that works for you!

Ditch the pacifier around age 3 when the Paci Fairy makes a visit!

What's next: As with any parenting task, set your expectations low! This will be hard and there will be crying for the pacifier at naps or bedtime. That's ok! You are the parent and you know what's best. Make sure your bedtime routine is super consistent as usual, give a few extra snuggles, reassurances, and maybe read an extra book or two. Be sure you are not giving into sleep crutches like sleeping with them, having them sleep in your bed or anything else just because they are upset. This will take a bit of time and then they will be sleeping like a champ again.

The Blueprint: Pacifiers are a great tool for soothing newborns to provide the non-nutritive suck reflex. As your child grows, keep pacifiers in the crib and for sleep only.